A Facebook Story

I’m often amused by humorous postings from my friends on Facebook, so I decided to write a “story” by combining real posts  and comments from my Facebook friends (I’m stuck at an airport – figured it’d be a fun way to pass the time). This is a story collectively told by my friends… 

Being nice is so last season. My patience is hanging by a thread. Holy Sweet Bamboozles, it’s hot here. Humid doesn’t even begin to cover it. The guy next to me on the plane is so fat the armrest won’t even go down and he smells like rotten bacon. There are about 500 crying babies on this airplane and we are still sitting on the runway for a second hour.  All of these screaming brats are really good birth control reminders.

Wondering: what color does a smurf turn if you choke it?

Every now and again I encounter those who subtly remind me why I drink. But I don’t get drunk, I get awesome. There are no absolutes in life – only vodka. If you want to get technical, vodka is practically a health drink if you just call it potato juice… which it really is, anyway.

Dear Annie Lennox: Would I lie to you??

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